One day after work, I had plans to meet a friend in the seaside suburb of Manly. The famous Manly ferry was the quickest option to get there. I paid my ticket and prepared myself for a 30 minute adventure!
Ferry arrives, and I overzealously push my way to the open air part at the top.
- Is the stairway to heaven wheelchair accessible?
- Why do they call him Donkey Kong if he’s not a donkey?
- Where do people in Hell tell other people to go?
- If I had my legs amputated, would I have to change my height and weight on my I.D. card?
- If K.F.C Stands for Kentucky Fried Chicken, Why do they play Sweet Home Alabama on the commercials?
Nothing but the boat rocking and the gentle sounds of waves……………….RING.
“This is Peter.”
“Hi Honey. Yes, remember the meeting I told you about?
“The team will be there, Dan, Mike, and a couple of other folks.”
“I told you….dinner and a couple of drinks.”
“Well we have some derivatives we need to talk about, Private Wealth is doing a reorganization, we need to talk about what jobs will be made redundant…………….”
(pause) My eyes glaze over while he goes on for a good 10 minutes.
“Yes, she’ll be there.”
(pause) Everyone is sighing and rolling their eyes.
“You don’t have anything to worry about.”
(pause) Now this is just getting annoying.
“Listen, I hear you, I know….I know….”
(pause) OMG, can someone please shut him the f*ck up!
Louder and more High Pitched “Someone forwarded her the outlook invite it wasn’t me.”
(pause) The irritation is pouring out of everyone’s eyes.
“I don’t understand why you’re so paranoid.”
(pause) Lots of uncomfortable shuffling.
“IT WAS A MISTAKE!!!”
(pause) Everyone is tired and now pissed off.
“We’ve been so good until now, please don’t cry, don’t cry honey, we’ll talk about it later…….(more begging for 2 minutes)”
(pause) The whole boat is looking around to see who’ll put this fool on blast.
“You know I’ll never do anything to hurt you.”
(pause) I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!
“It’ll never happen again.”
I jump up. $hit’s about to get real….
“I SWEAR on my mother’s grave……….”
3-2-1 “OH FOR GOD’S SAKE PETER, GET OFF THE PHONE AND COME BACK TO BED!”
He hangs up.
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